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blacktop therapy

So much of life is constrained. As wives, moms, caretakers, homemakers, income generators, volunteers and all around do-ers, we’ve got a lot on our plate. Expectations loom large and there’s just never enough time. So often we feel like we’re failing in any number of ways.

Just when one thing starts going well, another falls short. We think we’re catching up only to realize we’re lagging so far behind.

Kids aren’t behaving or potty training won’t train. Fighting, refereeing we feel like we’re losing control of our home. Marriages lack spontaneity and fun, feelings fade distant, and love feels thin. Teens test us, pushing the boundaries, and we desperately fight for resolve. Friendships fade because we can’t meet desires, we just don’t have enough time.

And suddenly we realize we’re trying to do it all. Too much. Life is messy and we have seasons of chaos. Times when our life is less about us and more about sacrifice. We give up self for our marriage, our kids, our career. Our dreams get pushed to the periphery, caught in the stolen moment, the midnight hour and the sunrise view.

It’s life. And it’s grace. Because in the most difficult times we realize where we stand. And who stands with us, and for us, when we can’t meet their demand.

Our calendars aren’t slowing down, nor our days clearing up, and we realize that nothing can change but us. Our attitude. Our peace. Finding balance and grace and love over all, challenges our day. Every day. Each day we fight for joy. To loosen where we can, and tighten where we must.

Because life never goes forward in a straight, even line. It’s messy and unruly and jagged and torn. And there is beauty in the broken. Much love in the mess. Because despite it all, and because of it all, it is ours. 

Feet on pavement, rhythm and timing. Dark and light and stillness and sound. Meditation in the silence carried on the breath of wind.

To run.

To go steadily, without restraint.

People ask me what I think about during long miles and I never have a good answer. Because it’s anything and everything, and nothing at all. And sometimes all at the same time.

For me, running is therapy. It’s the time I move forward. I set my path and everything fades. In the moment it’s just me – just the day that is given and my open hand to receive it. And though there are times when miles pass without thought, my soul is in communion with God. Nature. Because to me, God and nature go hand in hand. You cannot see one without seeing the other. It is the time I feel the most free. He set me free out on the open road. Free from heartache, betrayal, deception, unforgiveness and pain.

fall roads

I want to challenge you to set a goal for your body. I challenged you to set goals for 2013 for mind, body and spirit because we’re all connected. Nothing works well when one is failing. Find balance. Find peace. Walk. Run. Move. Steadily and without restraint.

It’s a practice, this life. Moving forward. Seeking peace. Giving grace.

Join me on the open road and practice, every step moving you forward. Find your pace. Find your strong. Nothing can change but us and, for me, it all starts here.

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{ 6 comments… add one }
  • courtney September 19, 2013, 10:36 pm

    You are so right, Tammy! As a new at-home momma living out in the country, my morning runs with God give me so much life. This morning, as I was running down the dirt road, the moon looked so large. It was covered by clouds on the top and bottom – almost looking like an eye, God’s eye watching over me. I’m thankful for our big God!

    Enjoy your runs! Love you!

    • Tammy September 20, 2013, 6:15 am

      mmmm, me too. and thankful for YOU! sounds like a great run! good for you getting out there so soon, little momma! love you so. xoxo

  • Krisi September 20, 2013, 1:10 am

    Dear Tammy,
    I love this! Just the other day I was on a run in the morning and thanking God that I have a healthy enough body to run, to soak in the beauty of God’s creation as I run and to feel His presence with me! Whenever I am asked why do I run, I always say that it keeps me sane. It is my alone time, most of the time, and it helps me release all that burdens me and I ALWAYS feel better afterwards. 🙂 Enjoy these beautiful fall days and thanks for sharing your journey!

    • Tammy September 20, 2013, 6:17 am

      amen, krisi! so thankful we are able. when i was going through a hard time during my life my mom wouldn’t even talk to me until AFTER my run! sanity saver for sure! xoxo

  • Rychelle September 22, 2013, 11:08 pm

    “feet on pavement, rhythm and timing. dark and light and stillness and sound. meditation in the silence carried on the breath of wind…. my soul… in communion with God.” mmm … you breathe life into my bones with your words. my spirit has risen. thank you. This picture is stunning…I cannot wait to walk along the same leaf littered path <3 … I love you so. xo, me

    • Tammy September 24, 2013, 8:26 pm

      so thankful your spirit is rising. joy. in the morning. hope welling up. i cannot wait to be with you. just be. loving you. xoxo

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