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Breaking free from a superficial life

breaking free

This last year has been an incredible journey. One of long-lost ambitions and dreams I never even believed I would begin, now coming true.

For as long as I can remember I have searched and fought for acceptance and belonging in a world where it seemed I was never enough. Never good enough, smart enough, funny enough, talented enough. Or sometimes maybe too much. It seemed that so many times I was either not enough to belong or far too much to fit in.

It’s a tough crowd sometimes.

For those of you who are new here, my first book is almost out!

It’s called Pretty.

Next week, you too can read the intimate pages of my heart. The story of a life riddled with rejection and unworthiness, painful and difficult female relationships, misplaced identity in a sea of distraction, and the lessons I have learned building myself strong. Forgetting and remembering who I really am.

Because the truth is we’re all a little bit broken.

We believe we know who we are and then we’re suddenly and surely taken off our feet in an instant. One comment, criticism, rejection or loss and we’re back feeling like a teenage girl left out of the popular crowd.

And we do such a great job of hiding.

As women we’ve practiced for so long we’re experts at faking. We cover our pain, loss, grief and heartache under the many different masks of pretty. We believe if we look pretty, act pretty and talk pretty we can delude ourselves into believing it’s fine. We’re fine. Life is good. We spend endless amounts of time, energy and money trying to convince ourselves and others we have this elusive perfect life. But the house is falling in.

Because all that is broken in us lies just beneath the surface of a put-together life. No matter how hard we fight it, what is in us will find a way out. Whether in our behavior, bitter attitudes and critical spirits or jealousy, pride, addiction, distraction and numbing from the life that is right in front of us.

The life we were meant to live.

This book has been an incredibly hard journey through the story of my past. There have been times I wrote with tears streaming down my face. Times I re-lived the pain of rejection so piercingly everything and everyone I came in contact with hurt. Times I didn’t even want to live in my own skin let alone the clamoring noise in my head.

But God never promised the journey would be easy. He only said it would be worth it.

Nothing worth having is acquired without effort. Nothing worth keeping comes without cost.

What more could we ever hope for in this life than to find ourselves? The part buried by the difficult experiences of life and the agreements we made about ourselves when things happened that we were too young to understand.

We were made for more than pretty.

What if we lived in the open? What if we shared our brokenness as if it were the very thing that could give us life?

What if we cared enough to splay ourselves open for the sake of our healing? Risking everything we thought the world held as right – the image of a perfect life – and were honest that it’s not good. No, we’re not fine.

My greatest prayer is that we can do this together in the pages of my book. I invite you to join me on an adventure into the depths of your soul and pray that you find encouragement and healing as you find the courage to stand in the face of your fear and the lies that have held you back for too long, and decide that you are no longer going to hide. In facing the truth of our story – the beauty and the broken – we get to decide if we let it haunt us or help us.

We get to design how far it will propel us forward to the life we were created to live.

What are you waiting for? The path lies before you and the decision is yours to make. Face your fear and find your strength? Or live in the empty illusion of a superficial life. We’ve got to be full of something other than ourselves ladies: Pretty doesn’t cut it anymore.


Breaking Free from the Illusions of a Superficial Life

available in all digital and e-reader formats


Find out everything you need to download {right here}


Here is where YOU come in.

I truly and wholeheartedly need YOUR help to make this a success! The “book people” tell me I can’t get this book into beautiful, hold-in-your-hands printed books until you, the people, have shown your belief in me and this book. The book is only $4.99 and I need you to buy one for you, your sister, your best friend, your daughter, your niece, and every other beautiful woman you know! You can even send it as a gift with one click from Amazon!

I’ve done my part and I need you to help get this out there to the world! You can help in any number of ways, however you feel led. Here are a few simple ways to make a big difference:

1. Download & read it! {I hope & pray you’ll be blessed.}

2. Write a review. {It’s super helpful for other readers to see why they should buy this book. The more specific you can be about how it impacted you, the better!}

3. Make sure you’re following the blog on Facebook because there’s some fun surprises coming in the next few weeks & some great giveaways too!

4. Share it on social media & in your friend circles.

5. Tell your friends to download it!

6. Read it in your book clubs/bible studies.

I so appreciate every single one of you and the way you encourage me to write and live with my whole heart. It truly is the most amazing gift that God would use my deepest fears to bring me to freedom. You have blessed me so much and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you.

Thank you with all of my heart for being a part of this!

If you would like to receive future posts like this to your inbox sign up here and receive a FREE copy of my ebook: Finding the Extraordinary in an Ordinary Life!  Get to know me more by following my Facebook pagePinterestInstagram or Twitter
 where I post daily photos, questions & encouragement!

{ 17 comments… add one }
  • Jo Ann Fore May 16, 2014, 4:23 am

    So stink’n excited for you. And for us. <3

    • Tammy May 16, 2014, 5:49 pm

      Thank you sweet friend!! I so hope we finally get to meet this year! You’ve been such an encouragement and blessing to my soul. xoxo

  • Donna May 16, 2014, 8:21 pm

    Hi Tammy~ Congratulations…I plan to buy your book! I pray you will know how “successful” you already are by opening yourself up and telling your story for everyone to “see.” The hard work you did by writing your book is truly courageous and will lift others up no doubt! 🙂

    • Tammy May 16, 2014, 9:27 pm

      Thank you Donna! You’re such an encouragement to me and I’m so thankful you’re here. Blessings to you! xoxo

  • ginanorma May 17, 2014, 4:21 am

    WILL do! VERY excited and happy for you!!!
    You are usingyour life for ALL that God has done and worked through for His purposes and you are coming full circle, only to find you will come full circle YET again down the road. He keeps calling us and calling us and calling us.

    Can’t wait to read it and help where I can!
    One suggestion I would make: Get more involved in Instagram. It’s a huge community and it’s important to network that way–more and more people are “leaving” their blogs for IG, not that you have to stop blogging but IG is very IMPORTANT, it’s KEY these days!

    Also, sometimes I just miss a good ol’ phone convo, so maybe we should just pick up the phone and talk!


    • Tammy May 18, 2014, 7:43 am

      Gina, HI!!!! I would so love to connect and talk! Even better, next time I’m back to the city we need to meet up & catch up for real. Oh girl, so excited for you and your book journey, I’m cheering for you! xoxoxo

  • Tammy S-D May 17, 2014, 9:55 pm

    I am so excited to have found you, just in time to welcome your book, and SHARE it. It will be the first e-book I download for myself. Daughter has a Nook. I read from second hand shelf at local bookstore, but I can’t wait to get this!! Thank you for having the courage to be reflective, and then transparent, to encourage others!! Love and blessings in Him <3

    • Tammy May 18, 2014, 7:41 am

      Thank you Tammy!! Yay! I’m so glad you’re here. xoxo

  • Tammy S-D May 18, 2014, 12:13 pm

    downloaded your book….first e-book for me. (location #s instead of page #s?) Taking notes. Loving it. Will so… enjoying this in the days or weeks to come, depending on how much personal reading time I can fit in. Yea for you…..authoring a book!! Yes, we do want it in paper form someday.

    • Tammy May 19, 2014, 4:07 am

      Oh I’m so glad Tammy! You sneaked & found out it’s there early! 😉 I am so honored you’re reading and loving it. I pray it is a blessing to you & others. When you’re finished I would be so honored if you were willing to write a review! xoxo

  • Sarah May 20, 2014, 3:46 am

    Amen and amen. Joy joy JOY, filled with joy for you. I can’t imagine the heart-pounding nerves and excitement and hope that you’ve been swimming in this week. Cheering you on!

    • Tammy May 20, 2014, 7:11 am

      Thank you Sarah!!! So much! xoxoxo

  • TammySD May 21, 2014, 11:17 am

    …almost 70% through the book, still loving it, and still taking notes. YES I will write a review. New to the electronic book scene, I had to do some research just to read examples and get an idea what is expected (length, freedom to be specific…). Just wanted to be an encouragement to you today, as I believe you offered encouragement to the world, addressing very real challenges that women face in daily life. I thank you, and send my heartfelt blessings.

    • Tammy May 22, 2014, 6:41 am

      Sweetest message ever. Thank you! You and me both – learning this electronic, technological world one step at a time! 😉 Blessings to you Tammy! xo

  • related October 1, 2014, 12:00 pm

    I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for.
    Do you offer guest writers to write content for you?
    I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write about here.
    Again, awesome web log!

  • Gabby October 29, 2014, 9:37 pm

    Thank you for your insightful posts, I truly feel as if these sorts of issues aren’t truly revealed as openly as you have described. There is always a fear to expose a side of yourself that can be judged, but you have reminded everyone that you can not hide in fear. The only way to overcome the pain is to continue finding and loving yourself while keeping a positive outlook on what life throws at you. It’s such a relief to be able to read these experiences from another individuals perspective considering how little I seem to see others putting themselves out there so openly. So, thank you for giving me the courage to not be afraid; we are not alone.

    • Tammy October 30, 2014, 4:13 am

      Mmmmhmmm. Gabby. You are not alone. There are so many women desperate for open, honest, real, life-giving relationship. I know this because they write to me. We are everywhere. Find yourself and then find your people. You’re not alone.

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