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choose to build

it’s the moments when everything is perfect that scare me the most. when life seems in control, tucked away quietly in the grip of our own tiny hand. the balancing act. the dance we know so well.

“they” say we’re only responsible for our own life. listening to our voice. following our dreams. for the care and nurturing of our family, our spouse, our children, and yet. and yet family is so much more. so very much more.

the threads of family cut deep. the woven tapestry of our lives is very much told in the story of family. broken, mended, patched or threadbare; each of us hold a story carved on the walls of our hearts, and we carry the burdens on our backs.


our parents. grandparents. our siblings. the friends we have chosen. the community in which we live. our neighbor. a stranger. the child left behind. abused, abandoned, rejected and alone. who are “they” who say it’s only about us?

how can we tend one to grow so beautifully {imperfectly} right to have another so horrifically, and perfectly wrong?

how can we love well in a world of broken, hurting people – hurting people?

it’s a question i often ponder: how to live fully and well in a world full to the brim of pain. how to live deeper than a superficial pretty life, and allow the many trials to carve character and true depth of beauty. i cannot find an answer; a truth that sets us free. because we live in a broken world, and the reality is that it is getting darker and meaner every day.

and so we must build. you. and i. builders of hope. encouragement. grace and love.

each day, each moment, we must choose to build. will we build our home, our life, our marriage, our children, our community, relationships and extended family, our SELF? or will we tear it down?


destroyed by our own words. our own bitterness, pain, jealousy and anger. knee-jerk reactions scattering lives. oblivious to the relationships and broken hearts abandoned to our own pride. our own vain conceit and selfish ambition.

as any good person does, we begin thinking we’re doing what’s best for us. looking out for number one. if we don’t protect ourself, who will. right? and so the gloves come off. we make assumptions. accusations. and we defend our territory. we cut off. we lash out. we reject, ignore and put up walls.

we pretend we’re the victim, and for awhile people believe our story. you see, we’ve come to believe our own lie. because truth is so much harder.

truth requires us to step outside of, and die to, ourself. to strip away the layers we’ve built to protect our hearts and stop reacting to safe people. to stop throwing arrows when there is no war. to ask hard questions and seek truth before believing a self-inflicted lie. a lie we’ve believed our whole lives.

there is no greater challenge than to die to our self. to take the sucker punch and continue to do the right thing. to continue to love not because we feel it, but because it’s our greatest command.

kindness is not weakness. it is a choice. and it’s the greatest strength we have. to know what is right, and to do what is right, knowing that it is often contrary to our flesh. truth often goes against our strongest of feelings. against our desperate desire for justice. satisfaction. and revenge. there is only one thing in us that is holy, and we are called to yield to that which is greater than our flesh. greater than our selfish desire to be right. to divide. family.

do not grow weary in doing good. we are broken people. broken hurting people, hurting people. and so we must choose how we will cope in the world in which we live. will we build – choose to build – when our hearts don’t feel love? or will we destroy by our very own hand?

build with me. tear down old walls and choose to build grace. moment by moment, choice by determined choice, you are building yourself strong. beautiful. you are yielding to Him who is holy, and you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.


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{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Roxanne May 10, 2014, 2:59 am

    Im amazed by your writings, it reflects everything I feel. Your style and wording gives me chills…… You are gifted beyond.. May the lord use you always. Blessings Continualy

  • Roxanne May 10, 2014, 3:00 am

    Im amazed by your writings, it reflects everything I feel. Your style and wording gives me chills…… You are gifted beyond.. May the lord use you always. Blessings

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