Have you ever given yourself permission to dream only to find that your dream wasn’t ever going to be? Or maybe the dream you envision is going to take a whole lot of work?
Last week I told you how my husband and I have been waiting in disobedience to sell our house. How we took things into our own hands, seeking out the wide open spaces of our heart. We wanted land. Sprawling acreage, an old barn, a long dirt driveway with covering trees. The vision was clear and we could both see it. One day driving in the country near our home we found it. But it wasn’t for sale.
Somewhere in our hearts we knew this was our place. It motivated us to put our trust in God, or maybe our own selfish desire but, regardless, we jumped. Then sat waiting to hear back on this piece of land. Weeks went by. Nothing. Several more messages were left and acquaintances got involved trying to help. Nothing. So we put our house on the market, assured that God would fulfill His promise to us if this was our land, knowing that obedience is often inconvenient. Two days later we talked with the owner. The answer was no.
With our idyllic country home dreams dashed and our house already on the market we wondered what would be. I remembered back again on my word for this year: TRUST. We had decided to trust but we had already scoured the countryside, entertaining communities and areas we had no desire to live in. Searching for the place. The place of our dreams. We found nothing.
Then one morning last week I went to meet a friend at her lake home and take our boys kayaking. I walked into her home and something in me stirred. Something whispered to a place I couldn’t actually hear: you’re going to live on the lake. But that was the opposite of our dream. That wasn’t even possible. In the community where we live, this lake is the dream of all dreams but lots are impossible to find. Lots that are close enough to town for my husband to work, and that have a great location and view are unheard of. They don’t exist. We begin talking about our dream to sell and build, but that we had nowhere to go. My friend…she and her husband already knew the place. And it was for sale. Hidden in so many ways and right under our nose for years we began the process of researching and reconstructing a dream. A new dream. A dream that God knew was better than our dream. More in line with the fiber of our heart, our life, our needs, desires, vision, destiny and more.
We bought the land! Just like that we went from acreage to frontage and a new dream was born. And though it’s not perfect and there are high hurdles we need to jump, we will. I spent over eleven hours yesterday problem solving. Fact checking. Digging. Calling every office in the county to do whatever needs to be done to make this our forever home. But somewhere in the middle of the mess I started trying to discern the signs. Were these roadblocks from God? Were these warnings to quit? Was another dream gone?
But I went to sleep and as I woke this morning I heard four words penetrate the stillness of my mind: WILL YOU TRUST ME? In January God gave me the word trust, knowing I would need to trust him this year. I didn’t know how or why or when, but He did. And He’s asking me, gently, over and over again, to recommit my dreams to His hands. To trust Him. So I will.
At this moment there are people on the property determining our worst case scenario, and I’m preparing for my first county meeting asking for favor. Because even though God says we can trust Him, that doesn’t mean we sit back and wait. It doesn’t mean it will happen all on it’s own. Sometimes trusting God means we’re going to have to work hard, and jump high, and dare greatly. There will be some who say it’s a risk; there will be some who simply cannot understand; and there will be some who try to convince us quit. But –
It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena. Whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. -Theodore Roosevelt
It’s one of my favorite quotes and I come back to it again and again and again every time I’m faced with perfectionism, unworthiness and fear. Every time I wonder if I should risk or play it safe; every single time I land on daring greatly, TRUSTING God, and being brave with my life. I want to be in the arena. I want to take the chances that force me to rely on God. To trust Him. To believe that He will fulfill His promises even if it means we must spend ourselves in the cause. Because that is living. THAT, is life.
Where is God calling you to trust? And how might you begin daring greatly?