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A place to be free


place to be free

If there’s anything I’m learning it’s that shame holds no real power.

I mean, it tries. It certainly tests me over and over again to see if I will give in to it’s illusion, or challenge it’s strength. If I’m honest, most times I fail.

But lately? Lately, I’m winning.

You see I’ve been doing an experiment, and it’s working.

In the moments I feel up to my neck in humiliation, embarrassment or shame, instead of doing what seems natural – holding it all inside – I’m boldly proclaiming it for all the world to see.

Not the details of course. That wouldn’t be healthy {or smart}. In the words of Brene Brown, we “share our stories with people who have earned the right to hear it.” 

I don’t share the story, but the fear that lives in it.

The emotion…the feeling…the way it makes me feel small, inferior, or less of whatever it is I think I should be. 

Feelings. Pesky things.

If you’re like me, perhaps one of your biggest fears is the exposure of your imperfection. Public knowledge that I’m not who some might believe me to be — or want, or even need me to be — well I’m just throwing it out there and you know what’s coming back?


Compassion. Empathy. “I’ve been there too..and you know what, I’m right there in it with you.” 

You guys? This is the stuff that heals.

This is the stuff that proves that feelings are not fact, and shame holds no power but that which we give it. Freely handing over the reigns to our life we choose whether we will step boldly into the face of our fear, expose it to the light, and heal. 

In my greatest moments of “I can’t believe I did that,” I’m finding you did it too.

We’re the same, you and me. 

Same heart, same spirit, same joy, same pain. When the walls are down and the truth is told our stories are not that different, after all.

We all share the same undercurrents of a life shaped and molded by experience, loss, unbelievable joy and deep welled sorrow.

In baring my heart I am finding it flying free.

This community is proving that. One day at a time, one compassionate word after another. I’m proud to call this community home. I can honestly say I am overwhelmed at the goodness of grace because you see, I have issues here. Right here. Issues with women relationships and jealousies, insecurities and perfection and there has been a whole lot of pain in my story.

I bet there is in yours, too.

That God would place a call on my heart to be passionate about encouraging women to community and grace, when the exact same thing has caused so much pain in my past.

Of course.

And this is becoming home. A home for the hearts of women daring to be set free.

Free of perfection and striving and proving that we have it all together or know all the right answers and finding comfort, compassion and grace in the messiness of our very real lives knowing that it is enough.

We are enough.

Every moment is enough and every mistake, misstep and unanswered prayer has brought us closer to home.

Thank you for being here and proving to all of us what it means to be a grace uncommon. You can follow my Facebook page {here} where I post encouragement several times a day and also get a copy of my first book by clicking right {here!}

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{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Krista Gilbert March 14, 2014, 6:04 am

    This post reflects so much – where you’ve been, what God has done, where you are going… your heart and ministry. I love everything about it – and I love you!

    • Tammy March 14, 2014, 9:51 pm

      Mmmmm….that’s truth there! He is a God of miracles. Thankful for you, faithful friend. I love you back!

  • Michelle March 14, 2014, 3:32 pm

    Thank you for your words Tammy!! I just started reading “Daring Greatly” and read about shame yesterday! Thank you for walking this path and sharing with other women! You are a blessing.

    • Tammy March 14, 2014, 9:50 pm

      Oh thank you so much Michelle. Brene is one of my very favorite authors, researchers, mentors – every bit of her work is worth reading and Daring Greatly is one of my absolute favorites. I know you will enjoy it! Blessings to you!

  • Kristin Waters March 14, 2014, 4:12 pm

    “In baring my heart, I am finding it flying free!” Beautiful way to express those feelings I share with you. We all have stories to share; and, I am figuring out that God has helped us through “caterpillar experiences” so we can soar like butterflies ( I just came up with that as a way to illustrate your wonderful writing in my mind- must be God!!) . Thank you for your heart and words today.

    • Tammy March 14, 2014, 9:49 pm

      So true Kristin! Each experience prepares us for the opportunity that lies ahead. Have you ever heard the story of the butterfly coming out of its cocoon? You really need to look it up to read it, but the essence is that if someone tries to help a butterfly emerge from the cocoon and it doesn’t experience the difficult struggle required to free itself, it will never fly. The arduous process is the requirement by which the strength comes. Amazing. Blessings to you!

  • Shana Chaplin March 16, 2014, 12:21 pm

    God has been doing a work in me regarding fear and anxiety. I stumbled across your website through some others I was following. I love your heart, your words of encouragement and call to authenticity. After a recent women’s event, God impressed these words upon my heart as a result of testimony and a two year process of seeking freedom in my own spiritual life: “Brokenness meets brokenness. Then and only then is God’s glory revealed.” He continues to whisper those words to me. I am learning, I am growing, I cam finding freedom in letting go.

    • Kristin Waters March 16, 2014, 1:59 pm

      Hi Shana,
      I am SO with you !!

    • Tammy March 17, 2014, 5:52 am

      “Brokenness meets brokenness.” Amen and yes. It reminds me of a time when I was without words and only tears and the person I couldn’t speak to for the tears that fell answered in knowing saying “deep calls to deep.” Praying for you to feel Him close as you find the freedom He longs for you. Blessings to you Shana.

  • rebecca April 8, 2014, 4:50 pm

    I so appreciate your honesty, being authentic, raw, real……….sharing your heart.

    • Tammy April 15, 2014, 2:26 pm

      Thank you Rebecca! Peace to you.

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