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You’ll get through this

You'll get through this

Have you ever found yourself in a troubled relationship? One where there just seemed no worldly way of making it through?

If you’re anything like me you’ve had your share of difficult ones. Whether in the family we were given or the ones that we choose, relationships are hard. They’re tangled and messy and full of both joy and pain.

The best things are.

I’m a big believer that God has a calling for every one of us and it necessitates us walking through hardship in that particular area.

I think it’s why most of us would rather choose somebody else’s gift.

Because if we got to choose where we were called we might pick something that didn’t hurt so bad. One that didn’t put us in the position of wanting to defend or explain ourselves because we’re so imperfect and messy and flawed and don’t have a great track record.

But we don’t get to choose. Because out of our greatest weakness will come His greatest strength. Because clearly, we cannot do it on our own.

I want to encourage you, whatever heartache you’re going through that seems to repeat itself time after time after time in your life? The thing that keeps you up at night or plays in the shadows of your deepest fears? That, my friend, is likely your ministry. That is your gift. 

We don’t often choose to see our hardships as our blessings, but I believe that they are. As much as our lives seem to happen to us, we have the power at any moment to say this is not how the story will end. You see, I believe each experience can be seen as blessing or burden. We choose.

When I look back in the rearview mirror, the greatest blessings of my life bloomed in the cracks of a broken road.

Friendships as old as I am, one or two from every stage of life that not only tested and tried me but have stood beside me. Ones that even though our lives don’t intersect in the daily rhythm of life, our hearts still beat the same. Ones that gradually faded, or swirled or stormed away, have carved character and truth and brought life lessons I could have never learned another way.

Out of the bondage of relationship I have learned the amazing freedom and gift of grace.

So often we’re tempted to cast our nets wide and catch as many supporters and friends as we can. We want to play the odds and put numbers in our favor. We want to chase after those who walk away and fix things by our own skill or strength. We want to question our motives, our actions and failures, our character and who we truly are. Because this – whatever this is for you – may be happening again.

I want to encourage you to stop.

Stop acting, reacting, questioning, blaming, fixing, chasing. Stop.

Pause for a moment, long enough to breathe. This is your gift.

When people walk away, when life takes a turn, when prayers remain unanswered, or life seems derailed. Gift.

Gift, gift, gift.

What man means for harm, God always means for good.

I believe this. I put my hope and faith and trust in this even when I don’t want to. Especially when I cannot see. Because I believe in a God who is faithful, and I’m counting it grace that He would love me this much. This much…to teach me this. My this.

He loves you this much too. What is this? For you?

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{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Lora B. March 24, 2014, 2:45 am

    thank u!!

  • Kristin Waters March 24, 2014, 4:39 pm

    I think we could be on similar journeys! Relationships, especially familial, are constantly in flux. I really like your ‘stop’ sentences. Stop letting others destroy your peace, your dreams and your resources. Most of us have been raised to give to others despite our needs ( not wants)- the
    peace-thieves. My husband and I have a few in our lives and we’ve given everything to them with nothing but entitlement in return. We are finally in agreement as to time frames in which to end our providing and give them the pushes they need to truly enter adulthood and take personal responsibility for their lives. I am speaking of fully grown adults!! We are created to love and give of ourselves, but God created boundaries,too. I really enjoy reading your posts♡

    • Tammy March 25, 2014, 2:30 am

      Mmmmm, yes. So much truth here Kristin. So often it is those of us who desire to love and give grace who sometimes get a little run over. I’ve really learned a lot about setting Godly boundaries from reading the Boundaries books by Cloud & Townsend. I highly recommend them. 🙂 I’m so honored & thankful you’re here – thank you for sharing! xo

      • Monique April 8, 2014, 2:53 am

        Is it more than one boundaries book?

        • Tammy April 8, 2014, 4:51 am

          There are two that I’ve read Monique. “Boundaries” and then “Beyond Boundaries.”

  • Valerie Sisco March 25, 2014, 3:49 pm

    These words are so insightful and yes, it’s hard to see what keeps happening in your life in one area as a gift, but I know it’s true. Thank you for this post!

  • rebecca March 27, 2014, 7:22 pm

    I want to understand this better…….can you give an example of what you mean by “this” being your gift? Do you mean a gift to me? To change me? Not a gift to others…….
    thanks! I LOVE your blog

    • Tammy March 27, 2014, 8:27 pm

      Hi Rebecca! I guess I believe that God has a calling on each of our lives. And I have experienced that when I start out in the direction I feel He is leading me I am sometimes faced with really hard things. Things that come up against my desire and design. Things that test whether I have what it takes to lean on Him and let Him guide me. That I rest in His promises whether that means leaving something behind, letting go of something I desire, changing a belief I hold or confronting a situation I’d rather ignore. I think those “gifts” manifest themselves in many, many ways. In ourselves and others. In my experience, sometimes it’s taken years before I could turn around and say thank you God. Thank you to the person or situation that at one time caused me harm. Does that help?

      • Tammy March 27, 2014, 8:30 pm

        And “this” is whatever your situation is. Whatever keeps following you around asking you to learn the lesson. A repeating theme in your life perhaps.

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