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got a paddle?

ever had one of those seasons when life was just working?  marriage going great, relationships at peace, faith in place, kids in motion, check, check, check.  life is good.  fun.  carefree.  and just as you’re noticing, and brave enough to proclaim, “isn’t it great?!”  ….that’s when.  that is the time.  the moment we least expect.  we slip.  we stumble.  we’re walking along and suddenly out of nowhere we realize we’re knee deep and there’s no getting out.  open mouth, insert foot.  were those words edifying?  were they for the purpose of building someone up?  was it necessary?  there was no good ending walking down that road.  and there we are.  moments later.  in our own little rowboat, lost at sea without a paddle.    {sigh}.

been there too?  please, please, please say yes!  Lord, i hope i’m not alone in this.  how good intentions and wanting to think the best can get us in a heap of a mess sometimes!  and it’s got me thinking…of course it does.  what do we do when we’re put in a triangle…caught between two people diametrically opposed.  or when someone you know says something nasty about your good friend.  do you speak a word?  do you tell them to stop?  do you tell your friend?  do you, do you, do you??  what do you do?  i’ve been there a million times & there’s no easy option.  no great ending here.  wounds.  it’s amazing how deep they go.  how one little word, a single name, can reach the depth of the wound and cause a pain so piercing.  our mouths.  our tongue.  our words.  POWERFUL.  beyond our wildest imaginations.  the power to build…the power to heal…the power to love…and the power to destroy.  my precious father-in-law always tells us: “what takes a lifetime to build, takes only a moment to destroy.”  how true that is of our tongue as well.

so i’m still processing.  still chewing on this one…trying to figure out what is real.  what is one truth i can pull out of a little whirling dervish of confusion.  we never know what life has in store for us around the next bend or at the next holiday party.  where roads divide and we take the wrong turn…open our mouth unwisely…or where something might cause us to faceplant.  but i do know one thing for certain.  in the midst of all the chaos of relationships, of love triangles and friend triangles, and groups and disfunction.  there is one place that is safe: my babies.  my precious babies who long for nothing more than their momma to scoop them up and love on them.  to pull out the puzzles and get on the floor.  to jump in our bed for a big snuggle sesh and a movie.  that is real.  that is true.  when they look in my eyes and tell me they love me to the moon i know that they mean it.  there is no agenda in play, no ulterior motives behind the scenes.  it’s pure.  sweet, simple, uncomplicated and true.  so i’m pulling in a bit this week, going back to the basics.  and i think i might just float in this rowboat a little while and enjoy the view.  who needs a paddle anyway?  it’s kinda peaceful out here.

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{ 8 comments… add one }
  • Kay Fredrick November 28, 2012, 3:18 pm

    I’ve been memorizing Psalm 141:3 Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, and keep watch over the door of my lips.

  • Leah Trott November 28, 2012, 5:12 pm

    You have written beautiful and true words once again! I look forward to seeing a new blog post from you each week, and to feel inspired by your brilliance. You have a beautiful mind and soul to go with your external beauty. Thank you for speaking your beautiful words. Keep them coming Tam, you’re amazing!

  • Annie November 28, 2012, 5:51 pm

    Back to basics…my favorite place to be! LOVE this post!!! 🙂

  • C Hazel November 29, 2012, 12:05 am

    What I know for sure:
    1) Some people aren’t happy, no matter what, even when you rise to their demand you choose a side. They thrive on argument. This is my cue to politely walk away. Out of love . . . for myself.
    2) The hardest part about friendship is when you realize the friendship you wanted isn’t the one you actually had. I have only grieved for the friendships I wanted but never existed in reality. Accepting reality is a toughie.
    3) Who has time for toxic when life has so much happiness and peacefulness to offer? When I’m bothered by toxic, I pray for that person. It helps me cleanse the toxic so I can find the softness in my heart again.
    4) When all else fails, tread water until your lifeboat comes by. Sounds like your boat is filled with little munchkins. As it should be.
    XOXO

    • Tammy November 29, 2012, 4:08 am

      love this, how true for so many circumstances. grieving the friendship (or relationship) that never actually existed in reality… truth. cleansing the toxic to find softness of heart again. wisdom. precious to me…as are you. xoxo

  • jeannie November 30, 2012, 1:01 am

    New to this blog and not only do i love what you have to say, but the comments left are wonderful too. When reading what you write i feel like i am in a yoga class… you have a very peaceful way of writing. Thank you.

  • Christine December 3, 2012, 3:25 pm

    Ephesians 4:29

  • Krista December 5, 2012, 6:08 am

    “it’s kind of peaceful out here anyway.” I love this line. When God is allowed in, we do find peace in the midst…. I’m so thankful for that. It is other-wordly that we do, b/c it doesn’t make sense. Another insightful and beautifully written post!! XO

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