As I sit here in a coffee shop, pandora singing praise music through the speakers in my ears, I have writer’s block. So many thoughts and emotions swimming through my head: circumstances, hurts I see in others around me, burdens weighing heavily on sweet, tender hearts. Perceptions so different and yet, hurts remain. And my words seem so inadequate. Sentences refuse to form. Empty. Stillness in the space carved out to write.
And so I consider the message of that silence. The weight of broken relationship; hurts and burdens too heavy to carry. When friendships derail, when relationships aren’t what you thought, or hoped, or desired. Deliberate unkindness, and looking the other way. Unforgiveness. Pain so visible and yet ignored. Delicate truth crushed by the violent wake of pride, anger and defensiveness. The times and space where confusion and heartache reign.
Confusion is a lonely place. Deafeningly quiet.
An emptiness longing for truth…for a lie…anything to replace the void. A gaping hole in our hearts calling out to be filled. And we suffer impatience.
In a life so full of instant gratification, we’re unaccustomed to waiting. Allowing God to tend to our hearts while truth slowly filters in. For time to show us the lesson deeply imbedded in the trial. We struggle to find an answer, any answer, so we can understand. But sometimes there is no understanding, there just is.
And so we must choose hope.
Because hope is a revolutionary patience. It begins in the darkest places. The times we feel utterly lost and alone. Where confusion reigns.
And instead of shrinking down in the spiral of self doubt and discouragement, we speak truth to the lies that come for our peace. We find the strength to stand, cradled in a stubborn hope that believes if we show up, if we do the right thing, the dawn will come.
That light will break onto the horizon, and the warmth of it’s truth will penetrate our soul. Will fill us with peace. Will teach us to be patient. Will show us that we do not face this world alone and that we are better for the heartache.
We are comforted by the truth that this is not our home.
So that your faith may be proved genuine. The greatest desire of my heart: to be genuine, real, true and authentic. Sincere. That my life would match my heart; that my heart would match my faith.
Our life is a constant refining process where we are stripped of ourselves, stripped of the things we cling to in this life. Health, relationships, possessions, and security can be taken in a moment. Caught unaware.
Without faith, we are left in confusion, disbelief and heartache. We fall prey to the lies and doubt competing to fill the void in our heart.
So we must turn to hope. We must turn to faith: the belief in something for which there is no proof. With souls made for eternity, sometimes it breaks our hearts to live in this world.
In the midst of difficult circumstances, heartache and heartbreak, I pray you remember your eternal inheritance. This is not our home.
In the deafening loneliness of confusion I pray we find the courage to stand, united in faith. In hope. Filled with a revolutionary patience to believe in what we cannot see, and to know we are enough. In this moment, this trial, this life, we are enough.
So much more than enough.