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not alone : not on my own

last week we talked about a God-sized dream that lives in each of us.  perhaps you don’t know what it is yet…do we ever really know?  at times i think i do and so i run in that direction, because that’s what i do.  i run.  so i run, trying to make it on my own and inevitably fall flat on my butt.  that’s also what i do.  try to make it on my own.  i’ve done it all my life, really.  on my own.  don’t get me wrong, i am blessed with a wonderful family and friends and know i am deeply loved.  but, i’m not good at asking for help.  not always great at trusting in God that He’s already got this covered.  that His path for me is well laid out, and it is good.  so good.  i often forget, and fall back on my pattern of going it alone.  well just this week i had the privilege to hear God’s voice and it’s exactly what He said.  this is a bit personal and some of you might think i’ve totally lost it, hearing God speak to me.  but i did.  for the first time.  so clearly.  standing in my shower talking/praying out loud to my earthly father, tears streaming down asking why, why, why…all the whys over a lifetime and i heard Him, my Heavenly Father, answer back: “because you’re trying to do it on your own.”

boom.  silence.  the last tear slowly and silently rolled down my cheek and fell to the shower floor.    it is finished.

i can do no great things.  i can do no things on my own at all.  but for, maybe, run.  i can do that.  and i have, and i do.  run to…run from…run.  just run.  and so today i choose to run, but not on my own.  to stop running things on my own.  stop running my dreams on my own.  to believe with my whole heart that God is who He says He is, and that He can do what He says He can do.  and if He has a use for my life {“if”…hear that dreadful familiar doubt}, BECAUSE He has a use for my life, i will be obedient and let Him direct my path.  i fall flat on my butt every time i try to do it on my own, and by my own strength.  because i am weak in my self.  so weak.

path

 read psalm 119:32 here.

i’m starting today with believing God.  running in the path of His command, with Him, by Him, through Him.  encouraged that i no longer have to shoulder life’s challenges, nor these incredible dreams, on my own.  if i succeed or fail is no longer my burden to carry.  obedience is my command.  one tiny step at a time; free to run.  how can you start implementing a God-sized dream in a small way today?  yes, i said today.  no step is too small that leads you in the direction of your dream.  His dream.  be bold.  walk, sister.  in fact, run.  there is no better time.

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{ 18 comments… add one }
  • Maggie February 19, 2013, 4:17 pm

    Wow! I thought this was so beautiful! I wish you all the best in this journey of letting God guide you. I know this is what I needed to hear and do myself. So thank you for being personal and sharing!

    • Tammy February 19, 2013, 10:56 pm

      thanks maggie! best wishes to you as well!

  • JoAnn February 19, 2013, 4:57 pm

    I can so relate, Run first, ask God later. I will try to ask first more, remember God first more, then run where He wants. Thank for the encouragement.

    • Tammy February 19, 2013, 10:57 pm

      you’re welcome joann, praying for you on this journey of trusting Him first.

  • M February 19, 2013, 11:08 pm

    What a timely post! Thanks for being obedient in writing it.

    I’ve been working on a project for the last few months, one that I am sure that God wants me to be working on. And still I doubt. Still I think, “Who really wants to hear what I have to say?” I try to run away. I try to run toward other things. I give in to the fear.

    I keep thinking that I have to do this on my own. But if He called, then He will equip, right?

    • Tammy February 20, 2013, 4:38 am

      absolutely m! He planted that dream in you and He will carry you through it. be obedient and let Him lead. praying for you, run girl!

  • Holley Gerth February 20, 2013, 2:22 am

    Running with you, girl! Keep going! 🙂

  • Amy P Boyd February 20, 2013, 3:56 am

    This make me think of a Point of Grace song ‘Steady On’. The lyrics are “We run on up ahead, We lag behind you, It’s hard to wait when heaven’s on our minds,
    Teach our restless feet to walk beside you” We struggle to settle our restless feet, don’t we.

    • Tammy February 20, 2013, 4:40 am

      oh Lord, i sure do! 🙂 i’ll have to find that song, thanks for sharing amy! it’s really great to have you here.

  • Kay February 20, 2013, 2:38 pm

    I praise God for your transparency. Until we agree with what God sees in our life, we can’t begin to change. I love Ephesians 3:20 – Now to him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY MORE according to HIS POWER that is at work WITHIN US… We run the race, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith!

    • Tammy February 20, 2013, 4:29 pm

      amen. and what a race it is!! thank you with all my heart for your support & love aunt kay. and for your encouragement to all the women here. it means the world to me. xoxoxo

  • Noelle February 20, 2013, 8:23 pm

    Lovely post, really and truly. I am struggling with this same thing right now, guess that’s why I found your blog, you always seem to say the things I need to hear right now. Thanks so much for letting us all in to your feelings and hopes and dreams. It’s so hard to let go and let God take over, but I know that all things are possible with God if I follow his word. Thanks so much.

    • Tammy February 21, 2013, 2:23 pm

      praying for you this day noelle. that you may be filled to overflowing with His goodness and grace. that you may submit and surrender to Him who knows the desires of your hearts ever more than you… that you will see His tender mercies and faithfulness revealed to you even this very day. He who created those dreams fit them perfectly to your heart; no one else can do the work or fulfill the dream as beautifully and perfectly as you can so be patient on Him. i walk this road of obedience with you. surrendering, taking back, surrendering, taking back. xoxo

  • Krista February 24, 2013, 1:55 am

    This is one that will be a defining moment in your faith story…. the day you gave it ALL UP. It marks a beginning of sorts. So thankful I get to watch up close what God is doing! It’s so fun. Love you to PIECES!

    • Tammy February 24, 2013, 6:15 am

      ahhhh…a new beginning! obedience, no more no less. thank you for your truth & love. you are the real deal, sister friend. xoxo

  • Courtney March 1, 2013, 1:26 am

    Tam, I’m so pumped that you heard God speaking to you!!! 🙂 Such a wonderful message that He shared with you – like he was reminding you that He wants to be your best buddy and share ALL of life with you.

    Thanks for reminding me to listen for Him. I’m going on a silent retreat this weekend, so I will really try to keep my ears and heart open. This was just the message that I needed to hear – thank you, Tammy.

    • Tammy March 1, 2013, 4:22 am

      how exciting court! i can’t wait to hear about it. xoxo

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